Digging For Gold
We have been finding a totally absurd amount of glass in our yard in the past few weeks. And by absurd, I mean that under the few inches of topsoil in my yard lies enough glass to grind up and replace about 4.3 square miles of sand on Florida’s gulf coast. Except it is not ground up, it is huge jagged green, brown, clear, red, black glass, from one end of my yard to the other. How in the fuck did it get there. I happen to know a little bit about my property, and I can 100% safely say it was never a landfill. The former owner, who died in his 80s, was born in that house. A house his parents built in 1925.
We discovered the extent of the glass (which we previously just chalked up to some random construction debris when our house was renovated) when we added a deck this weekend. In digging the holes for the 4x4 support beams, I found old socks, plastic bags, the sole of a shoe. It was at this point we began joking about dead bodies being buried in the backyard.
It seems the old guy was quite eccentric, and never threw out anything. We began to wonder if this included his dead wife as well. It was all kind of a joke until I unearthed a fresh set of dentures. To say I was a little shocked was an understatement. There, lying only about 6 inches below the surface, was buried the upper set of false teeth. A full set. I seriously thought I found a dead body. My only comment was, "we cover this hole and no one says anything. Im putting the house on the market." But then I saw the pink plastic of the upper palate, and realized they were fakes.
Now, I can understand the dog taking some socks out back and burying them. I can understand that you are a lazy bum and throw your trash out back that. But dentures. How the hell did they end up in the backyard. Did the dog bury them. Did they drop out of the owner's pocket while he was digging a ditch. Why the hell are dentures in my back yard.
Not to mention the four tons of glass strewn about just under the surface. And socks, and bags. Who the hell buries this type of stuff. If anyone can shed some light on this, especially the glass, I would appreciate it.
Needless to say, I stopped digging in the yard for fear of what else I might find.
We discovered the extent of the glass (which we previously just chalked up to some random construction debris when our house was renovated) when we added a deck this weekend. In digging the holes for the 4x4 support beams, I found old socks, plastic bags, the sole of a shoe. It was at this point we began joking about dead bodies being buried in the backyard.
It seems the old guy was quite eccentric, and never threw out anything. We began to wonder if this included his dead wife as well. It was all kind of a joke until I unearthed a fresh set of dentures. To say I was a little shocked was an understatement. There, lying only about 6 inches below the surface, was buried the upper set of false teeth. A full set. I seriously thought I found a dead body. My only comment was, "we cover this hole and no one says anything. Im putting the house on the market." But then I saw the pink plastic of the upper palate, and realized they were fakes.
Now, I can understand the dog taking some socks out back and burying them. I can understand that you are a lazy bum and throw your trash out back that. But dentures. How the hell did they end up in the backyard. Did the dog bury them. Did they drop out of the owner's pocket while he was digging a ditch. Why the hell are dentures in my back yard.
Not to mention the four tons of glass strewn about just under the surface. And socks, and bags. Who the hell buries this type of stuff. If anyone can shed some light on this, especially the glass, I would appreciate it.
Needless to say, I stopped digging in the yard for fear of what else I might find.
posted by ODB at 4:58 PM
1 Comments:
I live in EATL also and I too have shit loads of glass in my backyard.
We have green glass, brown glass, clear glass, window glass, shower/pebble glass.
I have not found red or blue glass yet but I'll keep you posted if I do.
I think it was/is a past time of EATL to break glass.
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